Thursday, November 23, 2006

it does have a nice ring to it

i'm an engineer now! woohoo! i wish i can say i was ecstatic about it... well for a while i was, when we've learned from doc lazaro that all of us from UP passed. and that was a few hours before anything else was published. 9pm - results were out. top ten. i didn't make it. we should be celebrating but some of us were sulking (moi included :D) in spite of the fact that we ARE now engineers - that title we've dreamt of attaching to our names since we were little kids playing lego (or maybe that's just me =P). questions flooded my head, but basically it boiled down to "what's my 5th mistake?!?" i felt awful, being so close yet so far. 1 correct answer short and you're off the list. why can't i ever be lucky with multiple choice, the damn answer is already there! 4 answers out of complete guess, all of which were wrong, and apparently another one, that 5th one which i guess i'll never know. ugh. i hate how i was being such a brat about it when i've never even expected to be in the top ten. sure, i've dreamt about it, but expecting is another thing. i'm such a pessimist when it comes to these things but for some cosmic reason, i was suddenly crossing my fingers. oh well. thankfully a lot of people knocked some sense into me, which is kind of embarrassing, how they'd have to console me when they shouldn't be consoling me at all. it makes me cringe how suddenly i was this pathetic person whose disappointment is slowly consuming her. ugh. my brother was right for the first time! i was a loser. well now i can say i'm over it (so i guess i'm not a loser anymore? =P) i told myself time and again that it wasn't meant for me. even if i stayed a few minutes more to contemplate on that problem i wasn't able to solve, i still wouldn't have arrived at the solution (it's the concrete mix problem, would you believe? =S) that i can say because the solution didn't pop into my head until the next morning. =P i just didn't know it's a bit difficult to accept when you're this close to having it. BUT! omnia in bonum - everything for the good. i trust that God has more important and beautiful things in store for us, and that He has blessed us with more than enough, and it doesn't even need to be prestige. the important thing is that we're engineers now. our efforts were not in vain. hey, i became an engineer at 21! that's my only goal then anyway. :D

so celebrate with me friends and fellow engineers *wink, wink* oath taking on my birthday, dinner's on me! drop me a line ;)