it's december!

a friend dropped me a line with the subject "ei, it's december!".

i really wouldn't have noticed had he not declared it to my face. which was odd, considering i live for this month. and perhaps that's why he sent me that message. he knew me well.

but this year apparently, i don't feel that excited about it and not feeling excited about it makes me feel... old. i'm not that kid anymore who giddily awaits her birthday and Christmas. that's not to say i'll just let these occasions pass me by. i've just dropped "the waiting game" that's all, even if waiting was one of my favorite pastimes.

maybe it's because i won't be with my family and friends during my birthday. this year, i won't wake up at some ungodly hour on my birthday to attend misa de gallo with my parents. by the time i reach home, my birthday's over and it'll just be a few days til Christmas. and soon enough it will be over too.

maybe i'm just missing a lot of my closest friends, who i know i won't be seeing even though i'll travel a thousand over miles to be home.

maybe it's because i have a lot going on right now which made me realize that swinging life away is not a wise move. well, not really realize, since we all know it's really not a wise move to begin with.

ok, enough with the debbie downer mode. i know that i can't have it all, but i also know that i'll never be without friends and family on these occasions, albeit not physically, but that doesn't make it any less meaningful.

today, i'll celebrate with a barbeque cookout and good old spaghetti. and fish and chips on my actual birthday. and my mom's cooked meals when i'm back home. and of course trips to UCC, dulcinea and sweet inspirations for some caffeine, churros and bibingka. i'm not really enumerating my comfort foods as i'm not that depressed to have one. i'm just making a list of things to look forward to while sharing these special moments with people dearest to me. and i can't wait! 8)