Saturday, March 12, 2011

dear crazy #3

i haven't written you a letter in a while. i'm glad you saw me online in gmail. i've never been so happy to hear that you're okay. i know it's heartbreaking, the things that happened before your eyes. i've seen the pictures, and they tug at my heartstrings. you've probably cried more than i did.

earthquakes. did you ever think you'd study earthquake engineering when you were a kid? i can't remember what your childhood dream was, or if we ever talked about it, but i guess even when we were still in UP you probably didn't think you'd end up with a doctorate in that field. i'm scared of earthquakes, they bring back bad memories of me being worried sick about my mom. july 16, how could i forget... i was 5. i've always associated something apocalyptic with that date. it's my grade school's foundation day, the feast day of Our Lady of Mt. Carmel. although i know that that earthquake doesn't compare to what you experienced in japan a couple of days ago.

i hope you'll get some rest crazy, i know it's hard to sleep when you're anxious all the time. but try not to be. daniel told me this just a few weeks back when we were talking about my insomnia and i hope it would be helpful to you too: "leave your anxiety on the foot of Our Lord's cross and entrust the future to Him, somebody told me that once during extremely uncertain times". there, i copy-pasted it from gmail. :D JAPAN - just always pray at night - remember? it sounds funny now, i don't know if you used to write that acronym in slambooks when you were younger. i wrote that when i got nothing to say, along with HOLLAND, ITALY and other cheesy stuff. but i digress... i'd say pray not just at night, but anytime you feel like talking to someone about your 'joys and tribulations'.

crazy, i just remembered that one time we went to church together. ash wednesday some years ago. i was so happy that you joined me, and even happier that you liked the homily. keep the faith. let's pray hard for japan to recover. and that nothing bad happens to the philippines too. sometimes it sucks to be in the pacific ring of fire. but there are trade-offs as always.

i know you love japan dearly, and i love it too. i love a lot of things japanese. i have fond memories from grade school - getting home and finding a bunch of sanrio stickers from my grandaunt in japan. i'm fascinated by its history, japanese food which i often crave, murakami, and the warm japanese people i've met. i wonder how they are now. but i guess most of what i like about it are superficial (save for the few people i made friends with)... i know you have a lot more to love about it since you've been there for more than 3 years now. you are turning more japanese each day. :)

hang tough crazy. japan needs earthquake engineers like you. i'll be in the background praying for you, as always. we'll still have our dream cafe ok! ;)

ps: i just remembered a line from a song as i was walking home, and i thought since i couldn't say it earlier before i logged out, i'd say it now...
"and if i don't make it known that i loved you all along, just like sunny days that we ignored..." so just thought i'd let you know. heehee. :) tc!