the leaving song

well i've been bleeding well from this old wound
cleaning it with salt, so it will still feel new
and sometimes eyes turn black, and sometimes scars are tracks
but every time you're gone, i wish that you'd come back

and everyone watched me waste myself
and everyone cheered at last
and all of them found it comforting
it's better it's me, than them

i think i'm doing well from what they say
they've taken both my belt and shoelaces away
well i believe in luck... i think i do
well i'd believe for sure, if ever i saw you

well i've been fanning flames from these old coals
feeding them with tinder, and hoping they will grow
well i've been savoring what i can't hold
a blind belief in goodness that doesn't seem to show

:+:

well you know me, i'm always chasing the ghost of a good thing =/

somebody's saturday girl, but not tonight

i'm listening to nite live again - something i haven't done for quite a long while. raymund and i used to spend saturdays just listening to it, singing our hearts out. i dunno why we don't do it anymore. we got busy i guess.

well i miss it. especially since this saturday's a bit lonelier than usual. he can't be here, just when i'm back home. he had to be somewhere else. :(

oh well. (why do i keep saying that lately??)

being away from home's just probably taking its toll on me. oh well.

so get back, back, back to where we lasted
just like I imagine
i could never feel this way
so get back, back, back to the disaster
my heart's beating faster
holding on to feel the same

i really wish you were here :(

everyday is a sunday evening

you know that feeling you get on a sunday? where you just had the whole day to yourself and it's been great, and then you remember you have to go to school the next day, and it ruins the rest of the night. i have to go home tomorrow, and so i've got that feeling. it's like sunday night. - peyton, one tree hill

sundays... i'm not very fond of them. as a kid, i thought my birthday wouldn't ever fall on a sunday. i used to think that since misa de gallo starts on my birthday, it can't be a sunday because otherwise, there'd be 2 different mass celebrations. and... it just can't. sunday is when you cram your homework and not for celebrating your single most-awaited day of the year. and luckily for me, my birthday had always eluded sundays (as far as i can remember). until i turned 17. i realized now the reason i got "lucky" is because of leap years. so yay for leap years! :D (btw, i've just learned recently that i was in fact born on a sunday! some paradox. :D)

so anyway, when i heard peyton said this, i was in awe - because somebody has just described so vividly the exact feeling i get on a sunday evening. actually, that feeling had been out of my system for quite some time already. i guess i've learned to cherish sundays more, and all the other days that i get a break from school. :D but! i can just preempt that this somber-sunday-night-feeling would resurface and i would be one sad kid again when sunday comes. that's because i'd be living away from home for a while, to lock myself in some place where there's no tv and internet. board exam's only a month away, and i just can't afford to get distracted, especially with the pace i'm studying. so please pray for me, that i don't get homesick and flee back to my mom. =S and that we pass the board too. :D

*sigh* can't wait to get this over with. i'd really love to go to the beach or hike or something once this is through. and maybe my sundays would be okay again.

but until then, i would have to remind myself that "for as long as we are wayfarers, it is precisely in suffering that our happiness lies." -st. josemaria escriva (the way: 217)