Saturday, September 15, 2007

board exam blues

last night i met up with crazy for some catching up on each other’s “boring” life over some frap and green tea bread (starbucks in katips is a lot more spacious and cozy now, btw). days before, he told me that he needed to hear “miraculous stories” about the board exam, and i assured him that i would come prepared for our agenda – that is, to convince him not to postpone his taking the board exam this november (but of course we talked about a lot more other than that ;D). anyway, he also noticed that i only post entries in this blog once a month, so for that i’m now writing my second one for september. :D and this is about… hello, the title already gives it away! =P

the board exam review, to put it bluntly, was really one hell of a ride – at least for me. i’d say that it was the 2nd thing where i exerted a great deal of effort in passing, among other subjects that i had in college (the subject i studied the hardest for was ES 12, just because i was a miserable kid back then and i decided i wanted to be part of the 30% who pass the course, just to compensate for my then miserable life =P).

anyway, i’d say that i was quite a delinquent “reviewee”, which wasn’t really hard to become, especially since i live far from our review school. i was never punctual (but so were our teachers sometimes :D), i didn’t take evaluation exams, and i did procrastinate a lot. my batchmates and i would hang out after class, usually squandering our money on arcade and movies or wasting the afternoon away on videogames. and of course, there’s the FIFA world cup that happens only every 4 years, how could i pass up on watching the matches? i even missed school for that. :D in short, i slacked off, because i thought i had more time than i actually needed, but apparently, i was wrong. to shake me off my being lax, i got so sick i thought it was the end of me, seriously! it still amazes me how i had managed to join my friends for ice skating that fateful day, even though i threw up twice prior to reaching the skating rink, and once after. and even though i didn’t go to school for a week, i couldn’t study either because i was really, really weak - i lived on soup and gatorade the whole while (which really had me worried cos it has tartrazine, an ingredient that is said to lower the IQ and thus, the last thing i needed). realizing that i had to make up for all that, i switched to the weekends class, because then i wouldn’t have to wake up early every single day, and be stressed from the morning traffic, but most importantly, because it would buy me more time to study. but i guess what i really needed was discipline. 2 months before the board exam, everybody already seemed to be at wit’s end from all the pressure, but luckily, daniel told me a quote that had since become my source of consolation:

to achieve great things, 2 things are needed: a plan, and not enough time. - leonard bernstein

well, i definitely got the “not enough time” part and all i needed was a plan, so i made one.

but really, i guess the thing that carried me through the whole review period and the board exam itself was my faith. my “plan” could only take me so far, but having put my hundred percent trust in Him was what really did it. before the 1st day of our board exam, i only got to sleep for 2 hours, because of my insomnia. and during my prayer i told Him that i don’t believe in statistics, or how my lack of sleep could rattle my brain and make me lose memory. but i believe in what He could do for me despite these misfortunes, so whatever it is, fiat. it was a miracle that i wasn’t feeling too weak that day, and even aced one of the 2 subjects. the next day for the structural eng’g part, i really spaced out on a lot of topics. but i kept praying the memorare, and sure enough after a few minutes, i recalled how things should be solved. but i think that the biggest miracle really is how easy the exam was, which i guess one could deduce from the number of topnotchers that time (unfortunately, i wasn’t one of them :D).

so that’s my story. so to you guys who are going to take the board, good luck with all the studying. and remember that it wouldn’t mean as much if you only do it for yourself. offer it up, it would be more meaningful that way – “that in all things He may be glorified.” and lastly, keep the faith. ;)

Friday, September 14, 2007

i've got... a bad idea that says i should shut my mouth =P

so i WON'T be watching fall out boy next friday. and i didn't even have to think it over that much - because just like the many incidents in my life, it has all been decided for me. most of the time, i feel grateful that i don't have to make a choice, because i've just spared myself the decision making which usually entails frying my brain cells over these go or no-go dilemmas that have been thrown my way.

but sometimes i wonder if i'd be happier have i been given the chance to actually go either way.

well i had never openly admitted that i'm a fall out boy fan (until now of course) - one major reason for that is the constant teasing i get from a certain someone. =s (i just don't want to be called punk, that's all :D) but with myself being a big OTH fan, falling for FOB's catchy beat and clever lines was just inevitable (and just for the record, unlike other girls, i don't find pete cute =P).

when i learned they're going to have a concert here, i was torn - being the cheapskate that i am (yes, i still am!) i was a bit sad because i knew that i just couldn't bear to spend some cash on it. a friend even advised me to just spend my money on more important stuff, like shoes, clothes, or food. but then, it's a once in a lifetime chance, and i felt like grabbing it. so days of being indecisive passed, and then came the point that i don't have to decide anymore because: 1) it was impossible to get tickets for the friday concert, 2) crazy is off to mindanao the whole of next week, and 3) it's the proposed sked for our game night, and i'm supposed to host it (hopefully, we'll push through with it batchmates ;D).

so there, i'll miss the concert. and even though it relieved me that there's nothing more to think about since there's simply nothing i can do about it now, i can't really say i'm happy about it either. and it just made me realize a striking parallelism with some of the less trivial predicaments i've had in the past - not deciding on things, not admitting to something i really wanted, and then losing it - without even having to make a choice. because these things just "move along".

but to that i say, omnia in bonum, still - everything for the good. :) maybe i'm meant to watch the josh groban concert after all. haha. =P