chaque fois que tu ton va
je pretend que tu fais bien

i always do.

one of these days

i got my starbucks planner last week, yay! but not so... because as i flipped through its pages, i realize that i don't have that much to write because... i just don't have any plans. nothing coming up, each passing day seems more and more mundane as the year ends.

my tita and cousins already left for baguio yesterday and i should be traipsing around baguio with them right now, but no. my dad didn't permit me this time. his flight was today so there's no way i could leave before him, or not be there to take him to the airport.

anyway, i'm just bummed, that's all. i guess that explains why i baked, two days in a row. i was so bummed i visited martha stewart's website and looked for recipes. :D

and then i also watched meet joe black, which raymund gave me for Christmas. it was good -- insightful and clever. made me ponder on some lines. well, might as well share them here. ;)

william parrish talking to his daughter:
"i want you to get swept away, i want you to levitate... i want you to sing with rapture and dance like a dervish, be deliriously happy... i know it's a cornball thing but love is passion, obsession, someone you can't live without. i say fall head over heels. find someone you can love like crazy and who'll love you the same way back. and how do you find him? well forget your head and listen to your heart. i'm not hearing any heart. because the truth is, there's no sense in living your life without this. to make the journey and not fall deeply in love... well, you haven't lived a life at all. but you have to try. because if you haven't tried, you haven't lived... stay open. who knows, lightning could strike."

william parrish and joe black talking:
joe: i don't care bill. i love her.
bill: how perfect for you, to take whatever you want because it pleases you. that's not love.
joe: then what is it?
bill: some aimless infatuation which, for the moment, you feel like indulging. it's missing everything that matters.
joe: which is what?
bill: trust, responsibility, taking the weight for your choices and feelings, and spending the rest of your life living up to them. and above all, not hurting the object of your love.
joe: so that's what love is according to william parrish?
bill: multiply it by infinity, and take it to the depth of forever, and you will still have barely a glimpse of what i'm talking about.
joe: those were my words.
bill: they're mine now.

bill parrish giving a speech on his birthday:
"i thought i was going to sneak away tonight. what a glorious night! every face i see is a memory. it may not be a perfectly... perfect memory. sometimes we've had our ups and downs, but we're all together. and you're mine for a night. and i'm going to break precedence and tell you my one candle wish: that you would have a life, as lucky as mine, where you can wake up one morning and say, 'i don't want anything more.' 65 years. don't they go by in a blink?"

susan parrish and joe black:
susan: what will we do now?
joe: it will come to us.

-----
well i'm a sucker for these quotes, what can i say... :D

anyway, i'm still bummed. i just miss those things i used to do during the Christmas break. like watching disney on ice and dining out with friends. now i just bake, watch tv and read. i've read some posts i wrote last december and it just made me miss college even more. =S

but there may be hope for me yet. you never know... lightning could strike. ;)

bring me back my narcolepsy

it's way past board exam and i still have trouble sleeping. i used to be insomniac-slash-narcoleptic, now i'm just insomniac, period. lately, i've been trying to sleep before 1am, to avoid catching lizzie reruns that i've probably watched at least 4 times each. i've come to this resolution when i remembered my drum instructor asking me if he'd die without having slept for 2 days, and decided that i don't want to be wondering the same thing. and to spare myself the bloodshot eyes. and eyebags.

anyway, i turned 22 recently. our oath taking fell on the same date as my birthday and... well, it was underwhelming, to say the least. it felt like i was wasting the precious afternoon just sitting there, and standing occasionally when asked. super traffic pa. i wish it could've been any other day than my birthday, but oh well. plans changed as my parents decided to eat somewhere close to home instead of dining at this italian resto i suggested before. so we ended up at dencio's ayala heights. which turned out to be good, nevermind that it's not fine dining at all. the view was breathtaking, and there's a fireworks display nearby, so yay!:) and while hanging at our garden later that night, i saw a shooting star, which really made my day. 8D it felt even more special catching just one on my birthday, than when we saw about 5 while stargazing at the beach last summer.

speaking of, we haven't gone to the beach yet :( i guess that plan's less likely to materialize as the year ends. everyone's busy with/looking for work. it's sad. :(

Christmas in a few days... i can't believe december is fleeting, and fleeting fast. i wish time could just stand still for a little while. just so i could savor it more. "it's the most wonderful time of the year" after all. ah, time! i need it! i haven't even had the chance to renew my driver's license last week. could you believe i've had one for 3 years already? me neither! :D and i wish i'd also have the time to hang at starbucks again, to bury my nose in a book, and not for ordering take-out fraps just to complete my stickers. hey, my Christmas wish-list is getting less and less materialistic each year!

and yes, i wish to be narcoleptic again. at least until i'm employed. :D